THE LIFE YOU'VE ALWAYS WANTED (Ortberg) - Chapters 8-10

The following devotions are based on the book THE LIFE YOU’VE ALWAYS WANTED (Spiritual Disciplines for Ordinary People) by John Ortberg  (Zondervan, 2002)  All text in red italics is a direct quotation from the book. 

CHAPTER 10:  A LIFE OF FREEDOM –

The Practice of Secrecy

• In general, the soul makes greater progress when it least thinks so….most frequently when it imagines that it is losing. (St. John of the Cross)
• To whom do I belong?  To God or to the world!  Henri Nouwen
• Some people live in bondage to what others think of them….might be called ‘approval addiction’. (158)
• When we have the grace to be free in the presence of those who judge our lives and evaluate our actions, we have Christian freedom. (Lewis Smedes)
• One of the fine arts of gracious living is the art of living freely with our critics. (Smedes)
• When Jesus spoke, he was free from the need to create an impression.  He was free to speak the truth in love. (160)
• Our ‘generalized other’ is a composite of all those in our lives whose thumbs up or thumbs down signal carries emotional weight with us. (161)….parents, teachers, peer group, boss, co-workers, family, neighbors. 
• Part of the irony of the generalized other is that it is not really other at all – it’s what we THINK others are thinking. 
• I am only a small part of a much larger movement and that at the end of the day there is only one King whose approval will matter….God.
• We are not the passive victim of others’ opinions.  Their opinions are powerless until we validate them.
• Being addicted to approval is not the same as having a healthy appreciation for praise.  164
• Receiving praise gracefully; without becoming an addict, requires a well-ordered heart. 166
• Indicators of approval addiction:  comparison, deception, resentment.

Treatment for Approval Addiction: Secrecy

• True spiritual maturity means that we don’t feel the need to congratulate ourselves because we’ve gotten something right. 168
• Join the club for recovering approval addicts that might be called ‘Righteous Anonymous’. 
• The practice of secrecy exists to liberate those who are trapped by the desire ‘to be seen’, to impress others. 168
• Resign from Impression Management – we put out disclaimers to make sure the other person is thinking about us the way we want to be thought about. 
• Secret Practice of Good Deeds – Look for opportunities for practicing secret acts of kindness and senseless beauty. 170
• Acts of servanthood done to impress others lose their intrinsic power to help us enter the life of the kingdom.

May we strive to be what Winston Churchill once called his opponent, ‘a modest little man, with much to be modest about’. 

CHAPTER 9: THE GUIDED LIFE –

Receiving Guidance from the Holy Spirit

There is a way of ordering our mental life on more than one level at once.  On one level we may be thinking, discussing, seeing, calculating, meeting all the demands of external affairs.  But deep within, behind the scenes, at a profounder level, we may also be in prayer and adoration, song and worship and a gentle receptiveness to divine breathing.  Thomas Kelly

1 Kings 19:11 GNT A Gentle Whisper

A hurricane wind ripped through the mountains and shattered the rocks before God, but God wasn’t to be found in the wind; after the wind an earthquake, but God wasn’t in the earthquake; and after the earthquake fire, but God wasn’t in the fire; and after the fire a gentle and quiet whisper.

• It is one thing to speak to God.   It is another thing to listen. (140)
• If I am to have a relationship with God that is in any sense personal, I must be open to the possibility that sometimes God does speak directly to me. (142)
• Why should God’s end of the line be equipped with a receiver but no mouthpiece? (143)
• One reason why we fail to hear God speak is that we are not attentive.  We suffer from what might be called ‘spiritual mindlessness’. (144)
• God can directly guide my thoughts without the aid of intervening sounds or images. (146)
• Like Jacob’s stone altar, we need our own pillars to remind us to listen. (146)

Genesis 28:16,18 GNT

Jacob woke up and said, “The Lord is here! He is in this place, and I didn't know it!”…. Jacob got up early next morning, took the stone that was under his head, and set it up as a memorial. 

COMMENT:
Jacob's stone pillar reminded me of Joshua's stone memorial on the banks of the river - testimony to God's presence and action.  What reminders do we set up around us to remember God?  We wear crosses, we carry a 'cross in the pocket', we put up sayings on our walls, or leave our Bibles displayed prominently (hopefully not just collecting dust).  God is here IN THIS PLACE!  If we are truly in touch, we don't need the reminder because we feel that presence all the time.  Stop and listen!  God is speaking to us in so many different ways!

Numbers 22:28 GNT  
GOD SPEAKS THROUGH A DONKEY

Then the Lord gave the donkey the power of speech, and it said to Balaam, “What have I done to you? Why have you beaten me these three times?”

WHAT GUIDANCE IS NOT:

• “Insider Information”…Ask yourself how often do I seek God’s guidance when I’m not facing trouble or a difficult decision. 
• A Badge of Spirituality or Importance….God communicates with whomever he chooses.
• The Same Thing as Passivity….you can’t assume what happens as a result of passivity is the will of God.
• A Way to Avoid Taking Risks….God’s purpose in guidance is not to get us to perform the right actions.  His purpose is to help us become the right kind of people. (150)  That means making decisions!

COMMENTS:  Each of this 'qualifiers' on guidance has merit, but I especially want to comment on the last one.  If God wanted us to be 'fail proof', God would tell us what to do EVERY STEP OF THE WAY!  But like good parents, children are taught through making mistakes and learning from them.  God doesn't worry when we don't do something right, as long as we are becoming 'right' in the process.  Children learn through decision making and consequences.  So do we.  God doesn't want little robots doing his command, but loving humans who respond with love without being told to do so all the time!  

Luke 12:12 MSG

Don’t worry about ….what you’ll say or how you’ll say it. The right words will be there. The Holy Spirit will give you the right words when the time comes.”

PURSUING THE GUIDANCE OF THE SPIRIT

• Listen for the Spirit Continually.  This is a learned skill – the ability to have that gentle receptiveness to God at all times.    As you listen to people, listen also for what the Spirit is saying. (152)
• Be relentlessly responsive.  Don’t just listen.  Respond to God’s leadings to the best of your ability.  When we fail to respond, we lose touch with our hearing.
• Listen for the Spirit’s Voice in the Words of Others.  God speaks not only to us, but through us. (153)
• Practice listening in small matters.  God’s guidance is not limited to momentous decisions, but it may involve God’s gracious attention to small details. (155)

John 1:14 MSG

The Word became flesh and blood,
    and moved into the neighborhood.

We cannot be transformed if we close ourselves off to the guidance of the Holy Spirit. (156)

Psalm 121: 3-4 GNT
He will not let you fall;  your protector is always awake.

The protector of Israel never dozes or sleeps.

CHAPTER 8: LIFE BEYOND REGRET –

The Practice of Confession

Many Christians are unthinkably horrified when a real sinner is suddenly discovered among the righteous.  So we remain alone with our sin, living in lies and hypocrisy…He who is alone with his sins is utterly alone.  (Dietrich Bonhoeffer)

Psalm 19:12 VOICE

Who could possibly know all that he has done wrong?
    Forgive my hidden and unknown faults.

• Confession is not primarily something God has us do because he needs it.  God is not clutching tightly to his mercy, as if we have to pry it from his fingers like a child’s last cookie.  We need to confess in order to heal and be changed. (129)
• Many of us struggle, not so much with understanding the message of forgiveness, but with living in the reality of it. (129)
• Confession that helps us experience the power of forgiveness is a process, not a single act. (130)

Psalm 51:1-4, 10  GNT

Be merciful to me, O God, because of your constant love.
Because of your great mercy wipe away my sins!
Wash away all my evil and make me clean from my sin!

I recognize my faults;  I am always conscious of my sins.
I have sinned against you—only against you— and done what you consider evil.

Create a pure heart in me, O God,
    and put a new and loyal spirit in me.

SIX STEPS TO CONFESSION

1.     Preparation. 

We begin by placing ourselves into the care of the Spirit and asking for help. (130)

2.      Self-Examination.

Confession should be specific, concrete, and particular.  (131)  --Think through the categories of sins, the 10 Commandments, etc.

Confession means saying that somewhere in the mix was a choice and the choice was made by us, and it does not need to be excused, explained, or even understood.  The choice needs to be forgiven. (132)

Matthew 7:3-5 MSG

It’s easy to see a smudge on your neighbor’s face and be oblivious to the ugly sneer on your own. Do you have the nerve to say, ‘Let me wash your face for you,’ when your own face is distorted by contempt? It’s this whole traveling road-show mentality all over again, playing a holier-than-thou part instead of just living your part. Wipe that ugly sneer off your own face, and you might be fit to offer a washcloth to your neighbor.

3.   Perception.   Two Questions: Why?  What Happened?

Sin carries with it a certain moral myopia…it distorts our ability to detect its presence. (132)

We need to see our sin through new eyes.  We need to see them through the eyes of those against whom we have sinned. (134)

True confession involves entering into the pain of the person we have hurt and entering into God’s pain over sin. (134)

Why did I do what I did?  Sin is usually tied to some need or another. (134)

What happened as a result of my sin?

Mark 2:15-17 MSG

Later Jesus and his disciples were at home having supper with a collection of disreputable guests. Unlikely as it seems, more than a few of them had become followers. The religion scholars and Pharisees saw him keeping this kind of company and lit into his disciples: “What kind of example is this, acting cozy with the riffraff?”  Jesus, overhearing, shot back, “Who needs a doctor: the healthy or the sick? I’m here inviting the sin-sick, not the spiritually-fit.”

2 Corinthians 7:10 GNT

For the sadness that is used by God brings a change of heart that leads to salvation—and there is no regret in that! But sadness that is merely human causes death.

4.     A New Feeling.

Godly sorrow is a fitting response to our wrongdoing.  Wordly sorrow produces death.

Confession can safely be made only in the context of grace.  Feelings of remorse are no guarantee of authentic repentance, and they can be highly destructive. (135)

Luke 19:1-10 GNT

Zacchaeus stood up and said to the Lord, “Listen, sir! I will give half my belongings to the poor, and if I have cheated anyone, I will pay back four times as much.”

5.     A New Promise.

Confession is not just naming what we have done in the past.  It requires a kind of promise for the future.  (137)

We resolve that, with God’s help, we will change. (138)

6.     Healing Grace.

The final step in confession – the top of the mountain – is grace.  Not just the idea of grace, but grace as a reality, being immersed in it, given life by it. (138)

COMMENTS:  Sin isn't something we like to talk about.  We use euphemisms for the word and pretend that because of grace, we don't need to worry about it.  We claim that we don't sin BIG (murder or theft or adultery) so the LITTLE hurts and slights against one another don't really count.  I found the six steps to confession to be a new process I hadn't considered before.  Specific confession helps us focus on the common errors of our ways much more than general "Forgive me for whatever I've done wrong".  The latter confession doesn't lead to change or the new promise.  It doesn't help us identify the choices we make on a daily basis that bring others down or fail to nurture one another.  It can be a sin to not get sharing cards in the mail!  It can be a sin to put off making that phone call that would mean the world to another.  Most of us don't sin BIG, but the baby sins of OMISSION can add up quickly.  
Time to get busy and go mountain climbing....on Confession Mount. 

November 2-5, 2015