SCRIPTURE MEDITATIONS - January 2016

I have tried to find the on-line source I used for these daily scriptures, but so far cannot locate which website I used.  In order to get a list for the whole year, I took a 2012 or 2013 list from their archives. So...I'm not just picking these at random....there is a plan.  I just can't tell you WHOSE plan...must be God!

SCROLL DOWN FOR RECENT ADDITIONS.  I REPOST EVERY SATURDAY. 

1.12.16 TUESDAY   Joshua 1:14b
But all of you who can fight must lead your brothers in battle formation over the Jordan and help them...... (VOICE)
         I read several different translations of this text from Joshua, describing the battle to reclaim the land of the Jordan River.  Many focused on armed for battle, courageous and filled with valor, descriptions of the soldiers.  But this translation from The Voice spoke to me....all who can, must help.  Those are the words I see. 
         How often do I walk the streets and see needs that I ignore?  I guess I figure 'someone else' will take care of that or it's not in my skill set or talents.  And that might be true, but if I notice, if I see, then perhaps it is because God wants me to see.  Perhaps God is calling me to expand my skills and stir me to action.  I am able.  I can.  I MUST HELP.  There is an imperative in this verse that we cannot ignore.   

1.13.16 Wednesday  Romans 12:10
Be good friends who love deeply; practice playing second fiddle. (MSG)
Live in true devotion to one another, loving each other as sisters and brothers. Be first to honor others by putting them first. (VOICE)
          Love deeply.  Love as sisters and brothers. Be devoted to one another.  Respect one another.  Honor each other.  So many ways to put this and each translation uses different terms, but they all mean the same thing:  LOVE.   And how do we demonstrate that love?  By putting the needs of others ahead of ourselves, by playing 'second fiddle'.            How does this matter today?  I have meetings, we are serving dinner to the youth.  There are opportunities to quietly and discreetly seek to serve in a manner that does not call attention to self, but rather benefits another.  True humility is hard for me, so today I will concentrate on 'fiddling' more.  


1.14.16 Thursday  John 13:34
 “Let me give you a new command: Love one another. In the same way I loved you, you love one another. (MSG)
So I give you a new command: Love each other deeply and fully. Remember the ways that I have loved you, and demonstrate your love for others in those same ways. (VOICE)
          And we are back again to LOVE.  Somehow I think this one word is going to pop up frequently in these daily texts.  Love as Christ loved.  That pretty well describes the kind of love Jesus was talking about. LOVE LIKE JESUS!  I liked the VOICE translation because it spelled it out: remember how I have loved and do the same.  

1.15.16 Friday  2 Corinthians 4:16 
For this reason we never become discouraged. Even though our physical being is gradually decaying, yet our spiritual being is renewed day after day. (GNT) 
        
  This is a good verse to remember as we age.  We might not physically be in the condition or shape to do some things we used to do (like climb ladders, leap tall buildings, etc.) but where it counts for eternity, in our heart and soul, we are growing.  "Do not despair" writes The VOICE, while Peterson translates, "Don't give up!"  This can apply to far more than our physical being.  How often do we give up on God without realizing that our Creator is daily at work in our lives building relationships, mending fences, and renewing us?  God doesn't give up on us; we can't give up on ourselves...or God. 

1.16.16 Saturday Philippians 4:13 
I can do all things through him who strengthens me.  NRSV
          This verse blends perfectly in with yesterday's!  Why shouldn't we give up or get discouraged?  Because we have a power and strength for action that we don't always understand or use....the power of God through Jesus Christ; the power of our faith.  
          I find it interesting to note the different ways this is approached in the various translations.  Good News Translation says the strength to 'face all conditions', while VOICE writes 'content in any and every situation'.  Peterson's The Message puts it as 'I can make it through whatever and wherever...'  The more familiar NRSV simply says, 'I can do all things through him who strengthens me'.  Somehow this very direct and simple line implies much more action.  I can DO, rather than face or be content or make it through. Our more current translations seem to take some of the responsibility away from us.  I'll stick with the old standard here.  DO. GOD. STRENGTH.

1.17.16 Sunday  Psalm 139:9-10
If I ride on the wings of morning,
    if I make my home in the most isolated part of the ocean,
10 Even then You will be there to guide me;    
Your right hand will embrace me, for You are always there. (VOICE)


          I love the poetry of this verse: riding on the wings of morning!  Other translations simply put it as going far to the east or west.  NIV says, 'if I rise on the wings of the dawn' which makes me think more of getting up rather than traveling somewhere.  Regardless, what a beautiful image.  Wherever we go, distant or near, God is there, ready and waiting.  While GNT simply says to lead and guide, I also love the word choice of the Voice: to embrace.  To spend our day knowing we are embraced by God is an assurance beyond measure.  I have been trying to pick a key word or two each day from the scripture to think about all day long.  Today it will be EMBRACED.  
         PS.  This could be a fun picture to draw! 

1.18.16 Monday  Psalm 56:4
    In God, whose word I praise—
in God I trust and am not afraid.
    What can mere mortals do to me? VOICE

          What can mere mortals do?  Well, we can allow others to anger, frustrate, endanger, harm or irritate us, but none of that can destroy our relationship with God.  Praise, give thanks, and trust.  That TRUST word is so big and so hard to achieve.  But only when the trust is complete will the NO FEAR truly be present.  
          Trust God.....in our relationships, our finances, our future, our endeavors.  Do not allow fear to control or rule our lives.  I can write it so easily.  So much harder to live.  

1.19.16 Tuesday   Hebrews 10:39
But we’re not quitters who lose out. Oh, no! We’ll stay with it and survive, trusting all the way. The Message

          I started reading the last chapter of my Ortberg book, The Life You've Always Wanted, yesterday and it talks about ENDURANCE and PERSEVERANCE.  That chapter came to mind quickly, especially as I read the Message terminology of 'quitters' and thought back to a discussion we had with Luke about youth learning to stick with something that is hard and not giving up.  Ortberg relates this more to endurance through suffering, but the concept is the same.  We have to trust THROUGH the hard stuff, the dark times, the pain and suffering.  We have to believe God knows best and simply obey.  Doubts will come, but we still must carry through.  

1.20.16  Wednesday  1 John 4:18 
There is no fear in love; perfect love drives out all fear.
          Back to love and fear.  As I looked back over my key words so far in the past two weeks, I feel a reassurance and perhaps a bit of direction.  Do not fear to love!  There can never be a bad side or repercussion of love given in good faith and spirit.  
          Session is struggling with the budget.  We are overspending, yet I am frustrated that just one position, one area, seems to be the focus of the struggle: the youth director position.  I feel like we are letting a fear of loss

drive our motions.  We aren't saying where can we cut elsewhere to make this happen?  Have we asked the congregation if they are willing to ante up?   Yes, it is perhaps not what financial managers would advise, but where is our faith, where is our vision of what could be?  
          Can we persevere in our commitment to our youth?  Can we trust that God will provide in a way we have yet to discover?  Are we willing to sell out on our present youth for an unknown fiscal future?    OK....done rambling.  Better get back to trying to just live TODAY in love....with no fear!  


1.21.16 Thursday John 6:20
They were scared senseless, but he reassured them, “It’s me. It’s all right. Don’t be afraid.”  MSG
          I am beginning to see a pattern in this week's verses.  Fear not.  No fear.  Be not afraid.  And yet, how many of us, who profess faith and trust in God, live under a veil of fear?  Fear of failure, fear of reproach, fear of harm, fear of not measuring up.  
          We see someone stopped by the side of the road.  We utter a quick prayer, partially of relief that it isn't us and also for help, and drive on, fearful because they might mess up our schedule.  We don't pick up a hitchhiker because they look dangerous. We don't volunteer for a job because we fear we might not do it 'right'.  How many opportunities to encounter God do we miss because of our fears?

    The disciples were in a boat.  There was a storm and the waters were rough.  And suddenly they see an apparition walking on the water.  I would be afraid!  But Jesus reassures, "It's just me.  I am with you.  Don't be afraid."  When our boat is shaking and we are afraid, we can trust that our Lord is out there walking beside us.  DON'T BE AFRAID! 

1.22.16 Friday  Luke 12:11-12
So you can anticipate that you will be put on trial before the synagogues and religious officials. Don’t worry how you’ll respond, and don’t worry what you should say. The Holy Spirit will give you the words to say at the moment when you need them. GNT

     How often do I fail to speak up because I am unsure of how to say it; afraid (there's that word again!) that I won't make sense or another will think my words are not well thought out?  And then, in the privacy of the shower, the car, or wherever, I can be eloquent, fluent, and an orator of merit?  Perhaps I need to give trust in the words God puts into my mouth....that those are the very words that need to be spoken.  And perhaps I need to stop and consider, for just a moment, if the words I am about to speak are my own or God-inspired.  Sometimes, maybe, it IS best to remain silent!  "May the words of my mouth and the meditations of my heart be acceptable in your sight, O Lord...."   May I seek to speak in Spirit Speech!  

1.23.16 SATURDAY  2 Corinthians 5:14-15
Our firm decision is to work from this focused center: One man died for everyone. That puts everyone in the same boat. He included everyone in his death so that everyone could also be included in his life, a resurrection life, a far better life than people ever lived on their own. MSG
     One for all.  You see the words on banners and signs.  But in reading the Voice and GNT the passage is somewhat convoluted (after all, it IS written by Paul, master of twisted sentences!)  I don't think we concentrate enough on the ALL part of this.  Christians accept that Jesus died for our sins, but do we remember that he died for ALL sinners, everyone?  We aren't any better than those we consider 'really bad'!  We are all in this journey of life together and we had better learn to get along with the others in the boat!  Our resurrection boat is ready to cruise on an amazing journey!   

1.24.16 Sunday  Acts 4:18-20 
They called them back and warned them that they were on no account ever again to speak or teach in the name of Jesus. But Peter and John spoke right back, “Whether it’s right in God’s eyes to listen to you rather than to God, you decide. As for us, there’s no question—we can’t keep quiet about what we’ve seen and heard.”  MSG

     Peter and John were warned to keep silent about Jesus.  But they cannot.  The news is too good, too amazing, too life-changing.  They leave the decision to the Pharisees and others, but they put it in terms of God.  What is right in God's sight can easily be different than what is right in the eyes of men.  When we speak God-speech, inspired by God, we are left with God's judgment alone. 
      Unfortunately, it is with this same passion that radical Christians, radical Muslims, and most radical groups,  all operate.  They claim to 'hear' the voice of God command them to kill, to hate, to separate humanity into the good and the bad.  And the end results are ugly.  
      What is our message?  Is the source from God?  How do we share it? Listen to God.  Speak up for what is right! 

1.25.16 Monday  1 Peter 2:19
 For grace is clearly at work when a person accepts undeserved pain and suffering and does so because he is mindful of God. VOICE
       The Message spells this passage out somewhat clearer in that it speaks of servanthood.  If the servant performs poorly, then the punishment can be deserved. "But if you’re treated badly for good behavior and continue in spite of it to be a good servant, that is what counts with God." (MSG)   Today our acts of servanthood might not be returned with lashings or pain, but perhaps indifference, apathy, or rejection - all can cause us to suffer and perhaps quit. 

       For example.  In good faith and with good purpose, I work in the sweltering sun to build a Habitat House.  Perhaps laying a foundation in 90 degrees.  And then I meet the family.  They are indifferent to the progress, reluctant to sweat a little for their home.  I would feel rejected.  I would want to quit!  But that is not God's call.  Keep building.   In reality, this has NOT happened.  The response of the partner families has always been one of gratitude and welcome.  They make you want to build more, build faster, build better.  
       Work through all suffering in God's name and grace will be found.  

1.26.16 Tuesday  Acts 4:31
 While they were praying, the place where they were meeting trembled and shook. They were all filled with the Holy Spirit and continued to speak God’s Word with fearless confidence.  MSG
 

   The words that jumped out at me were 'FEARLESS CONFIDENCE'.  That is what the power of the Holy Spirit can give us.  The strength and confidence to do what we normally would fill incapable of doing.  But to be filled, we must seek God in all we do; live God 24/7.  Then we have the ability to realize that the Spirit is in us, ready to go to work. 
     I saw a clip from an old Superman clip the other day and the image of the 'Man of Steel' in his classic pose came to mind.  Our fearless confidence, along with our Spirit-Cape, can make us a modern day Super-Hero for God. 

     May I seek to meet my world today and everyday with the FEARLESS CONFIDENCE of one who knows the power of God within.  Amen. 

1.27.16 Wednesday  2 Corinthians 4:7
We carry this precious Message around in the unadorned clay pots of our ordinary lives. That’s to prevent anyone from confusing God’s incomparable power with us.  MSG
      When I hear this verse again, I am reminded of one of the very first scribble pictures I made, which featured a cracked pot and a 'pretty' pot.  I will try to 'resurrect' it for my prayers today.  But it seems God specializes in the 'crack-pots' - God uses the ordinary, the down and out, the humble, to do God's work.  He doesn't flock to the famous, the rich, the models and superstars.  God uses you and I, unadorned and simple vessels.  We may be cracked, but God can shine from within us....those holes allow the LIGHT to shine!  Fancy pots don't have room for God-light to escape.  

Lord, may I let your Light shine through the flaws and cracks in my ordinary life.    
1.28.16  Thursday  Ephesians 3:16
I ask him to strengthen you by his Spirit—not a brute strength but a glorious inner strength—that Christ will live in you as you open the door and invite him in.  MSG     
      Strong in the Spirit.  It's a phrase we hear often, but do we REALLY believe it?  Do we really trust in that strength and power?  Do we actually open the door to our heart and allow that strength to enter and then be released?  What does it really look like to be 'Spirit Strong'?
      More questions today than answers.  I go to work at Backpack this morning.  Will Spirit-strength get me up those stairs with a heavy load?  I hope so!  

1.29.16  Friday  Ephesians 3:20
God can do anything, you know—far more than you could ever imagine or guess or request in your wildest dreams! He does it not by pushing us around but by working within us, his Spirit deeply and gently within us. MSG
     IMAGINATION.  That's the word that pops out for me today from The Message translation. God's infinite and wild imagination.  It is evident in the majesty of Creation.  It is evident in God's choice of individuals to do his work (not always what we would consider the best choice!).  And it is acted out daily in the ways God uses us to achieve a Kingdom of Heaven.  When events get us down, there is hope is the reality that perhaps God is at work in wild and wonderful ways!  
      And we too should stretch our God-imaginations to wonder and work through new avenues to be the people of God.  I love imagining.  What a terrific thought for today.....May I partner with God in new imaginations for our world.  

1.30.16  Saturday 2 Corinthians 12:9
My grace is enough; it’s all you need.
My strength comes into its own in your weakness. MSG
     Strength in weakness.  It just doesn't make sense, yet that is how God works.  It is only when we have times when we feel inadequate and weak that we are forced to rely on the power and strength of God.  God uses our times of suffering and trial as 'teachable moments' to remind us where our faith can take us, to demonstrate God-power and strength. 

When I don't feel up to the task, Lord, may I turn to you for the strength to carry on.  




1.31.16 Sunday  Joshua 4:24
Because of this everyone on earth will know how great the Lord's power is, and you will honor the Lord your God forever.” GNT

     Joshua has led the Wandering tribe of Israel across the Jordan River.  God has once again parted waters to allow safe passage.  And Joshua proclaims the act of God's power a deed worthy of honor and glory forever more.  How often do we credit God when we witness those moments of majesty, incredible vistas, or acts of compassion?  How often do we give credit where credit is rightfully due..... to God-power at work?  May we remember to respond with the honor the Almighty deserves.  

     I went snowshoeing yesterday for the first time this year ... it was a glorious day in spite of drifting clouds that blocked the sun much of the time.  But the trees were laden with fresh snow, we saw a snowshoe hare, and the mountain seemed a ghost in the shrouded sky.  Praise and honor to God for creating such a world! 

Almighty God, whose power is beyond our understanding, may we remember to give glory and honor to all your deeds, large and small.  

THE LIFE YOU'VE ALWAYS WANTED (John Ortberg) - Chapters 11-13

The following devotions are based on the book THE LIFE YOU’VE ALWAYS WANTED (Spiritual Disciplines for Ordinary People) by John Ortberg  (Zondervan, 2002)  All text in red italics is a direct quotation from the book.

CHAPTER 11: AN UNDIVIDED LIFE –

The Practice of Reflection on Scripture

Purity of heart is to will one thing. (Søren Kierkegaard)

Purity can be considered a single-mindedness of goal – to live as God intended us to live, without sin, and purely human.

Our goal should be to achieve simplicity – to have a life that is integrated, focused on one thing.  Make a commitment to the ‘good’, or as Jesus put it, “Seek first the Kingdom of God.”

MULTIPLICITY

• When we live a life of multiplicity, we both desire intimacy with God and flee from it. (176)
• Duplicity adds a note of falseness.  We say something that sounds humble, but secretly know that we are trying to impress people with our apparent humility.  (176)
• Human beings have a remarkable capacity for self-deception. (176)

SIMPLICITY OF HEART

We possess singleness when we are not pulled in opposite directions and when we act without wanting something further for ourselves.  Our inner drives do not conflict; they are aimed in one direction.  The motives we appear to have are the ones we really have.  Our inner focus is unified and our public posture corresponds with it.  We are not, in short, divided. (Clifford Williams, p177)

Sunday, 1.10.16  Reflections

          It is a new year and the flurry of Advent and Christmas is past.  I set Ortberg's book aside for two months and I vow to finish it now - the final three chapters!  

          The first part of this chapter talks about having a focused life - obviously the focus should be on God and living a 'godly life'.  When we are pulled in many directions, we lose our focus.  It happens to ALL of us, every day.  Our lips may heed allegiance, but our actions speak differently.  When we truly have that 'purity of thought', we will act in a loving, Christ-like manner without even thinking about it.  The basis for this focus in this section is Scripture.  

 THE BIBLE AND TRANSFORMATION

Often we are so burdened and overwhelmed with other thoughts, images, and concerns that it may take a long time before God’s Word has swept all else aside and come through….  This is the very reason why we begin our meditation with the prayer that God may send His Holy Spirit to us through His Word and reveal His Word to us and enlighten us.  (Dietrich Bonhoeffer, p180)

• One moment I want to hear from God; the next I want to use what I have heard to impress people with how spiritual I am.
• The purpose of knowing Scripture is not to help us get a 100 score on the heavenly entrance exam.  It is to help us become equipped for good works.  p181
• The Bible is to help us learn how to live in the kingdom of God here and now.  It teachers us how to morph…..it is for us to become transformed into the kind of people from whom goodness flows like an unceasing stream of water.  p181-182
• Meditating on Scripture is not quite the same thing as Bible study.  The purpose of meditation is to have our minds ‘washed by the Word’. p182

1.11.16 Monday Reflection
          I appreciate these words in regard to the difference between Bible meditation and Bible study.  When we meditate, we aren't looking for information or answers.  We are seeking the Spirit, we are listening more than we are speaking.  I am trying a new prayer format this year and have decided to add a daily verse - a single simple phrase or sentence - to that.  I will read the verse in several different translations.  I will read aloud.  I will read slowly.  I will pause and wait....for a new interpretation.  For a word that suddenly seems to be in bold text. I will try to 'wash' with the words, to clean a part of my soul with the Holy Spirit.  I will wash and wait for God.  Many of these are suggestions from below. 
           I found an online source of single daily Scriptures.  We'll see how it goes.  
Galatians 5:6  ..."what matters....is faith expressed as love."  (or energized by love).  Key word?  LOVE.  In our visioning session yesterday, this came out as one of the key goals of the church - to demonstrate LOVE.  What matters most is not the building or programs, but simply to act as agents of God's love.  Sometimes the former are the means to the latter, but LOVE is the key.  Just two commandments from Jesus: Love God, love others.  It's that simple.  Why do we make it so hard? 

 SUGGESTIONS FOR MEDITATING ON SCRIPTURE.....

1.     Ask God to meet you in Scripture.  The message of the Bible is not just that help is coming – it has arrived.

2.    Read the Bible in a repentant Spirit. ….with a readiness to surrender all.  Reading for transformation is different from reading for information or to prove a point.

3.    Meditate on a fairly brief passage or narrative.  Go slowly.  The goal is not for us to get through the Scriptures.  The goal is to get the Scriptures through us. p186   

4.    Take one thought or verse with you through the day.   

5.    Allow this thought to become part of your memory.  (What matters is not how many words we memorize, but what happens to our minds as we immerse them in Scripture. p191)

CHAPTER 12:  LIFE WITH A WELL-ORDERED HEART

Developing Your Own ‘Rule of Life’

Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life. Proverbs 4:23

• Our modern quest seems to be for a ‘balanced life’.  But this can contribute to a tendency to compartmentalize our faith, to make it easier, more pleasant or manageable.  It lacks the notion that life is to be given to something bigger than myself.  (p194-195)
• Our quest should be for a well-ordered heart.  Augustine suggested a well-ordered heart means to LOVE the right thing, to the right degree, in the right way, with the right kind of love.  (p196)
• Spiritual transformation cannot be orchestrated or controlled, but neither is it a random venture…we need a plan. (p.200)
• A suggested verse for such a ‘plan of life’ could be Colossians 3:17….whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him. 
• In a sense, each of us chooses a ‘spiritual strategy’ whether or not we are intentional about it.  We choose it by default. (p204)

Thoughts and ponderings on this chapter....
   

     Ortberg begins by comparing the 'quest' of the medieval knights to our modern quest for a 'balanced life' and how, because we determine how that balance looks, that we often miss the boat in including God in all.  Self imposed balance often becomes a self-centered life.  
          St. Augustine's suggestions for a well ordered heart are good....love in the right way, at the right time, in the right place, in the right way.  But how does that look?  How can we apply it?  The photo below summarizes Ortberg's suggestion for what this might look like.  He goes on to list examples for each section of life.  To do something 'in the name of' in Bible times meant to do it in the character of, as or another person, would do it.  In other words, we are back to 'What would Jesus do?"  Would he start the day off with a prayer to his Father God saying 'thanks for another day of opportunity!  May I reflect your love to all this day'?  Would Jesus greet customers or others with indifference, or look them in the eye and acknowledge their presence and worth?  Would Jesus fill his mind with hateful TV or reading material, or listen to music that puts down people?  It is a HUGE endeavor to live as Jesus, but then again, with God, all things are possible!  

CHAPTER 13:  A LIFE OF ENDURANCE

The Experience of Suffering

It is said of God that no one can behold his face and live.  I always thought this meant that no one could see his splendor and live.  A friend said perhaps it means that no one could see his sorrow and live.  Or perhaps his sorrow is his splendor.  Nicholas Wolterstorff

Ortberg’s key statements:

• The start of any life or endeavor is easy.  To finish is hard.  To finish well is called endurance or perseverance. Endurance is a gift we can offer.  (209-210)
• Any truly meaningful human accomplishment will require perseverance…spiritual transformation won’t happen without it. (210) 
• Suffering always changes us, but it does not necessarily change us for the better…if we are going to be transformed, we must look at how suffering benefits us, or at least how to respond to it. (211) 
• Sometimes faith is walking in the darkness and simply refusing to quit. (212)
• A test is a difficult experience through which a person’s true values, commitments, and beliefs are revealed.  Testing is an act of love. (213)
• Going in faith does not necessarily mean going with serenity or without doubts.  Faith can be difficult.  Having faith doesn’t mean never having doubts or questions.  It does mean remaining obedient. (215-6)
  
  
• Suffering alone does not produce endurance, only suffering that is endured somehow in faith. (216) 
• We do not keep the faith from the sheer strength of will.  The reason we can trust God is that he understands what it is to walk in darkness. (221)

            Ortberg uses the story of Abraham as the ultimate example of a doubting, questioning man who obeyed God, even to the point of sacrificing his son. He walked in darkness, was tested, suffered, yet still obeyed.  And ultimately, he triumphed.   And so can we if we persevere.  

AUTUMN TIE DYE

Two years later....I discovered an unpublished draft on my Blogger posts and went back to see what it was.  I found a poem I wrote while exploring the east coast during the glory of fall color.  In the midst of the cold, white world of winter, perhaps it is a good time to finally publish 'Autumn Tie-Dye'.  




Maple reds,

Birch orange and golds,

Oaks and acorns litter the path.

High overhead leaves gently spin on spider tails,

Others relinquish a hold and slowly,

    Weaving in and out,

         Dancing on the wind,

           Fall to the ground

                 And scatter everywhere.

The leaves are dying.

A season of life is ending,

Death is all around.

Yet, the sunshine appears,

The Light of God’s glory,

And the leaves are transfixed –

Ablaze with a glow of beauty,

Of life, of energy and spirit.

As I near the end of this earthly season,

Will the light of God so transform me?

Will I wear a robe of new beauty?

Will God tie-dye my soul with red and orange, green and gold?

What a glorious moment of anticipation!