2 Corinthians 5:18.20 MSG
All this comes from the God who settled the relationship between us and him, and then called us to settle our relationships with each other. .....Become friends with God; he’s already a friend with you.
I started reading a new book this morning. Ironically, a book by Donald Miller with the foreward by Bob Goff. My last book was by Bob Goff with a foreword by Donald Miller! I get the feeling these two are good friends! They KNOW each other!
This book is about relationships. Mostly relationships in terms of intimacy with one another. It is about letting down our guard, taking off the costume we wear in presenting our public self, and allowing relationships to be based on our true inner self. It seems to me much of this can be applied to our relationship with God as well. True intimacy with God can be frightening but liberating; challenging yet exciting.
- Love can't be earned, it can only be given. And it can only be exchanged by people who are completely true with each other. (xvi)
- I don't mean to overstate what is yet unknown, but part of me believes when the story of earth is told, all that will be remembered is the truth we exchanged. The vulnerable moments. The terrifying risk of love and the care we took to cultivate it. And all the rest, the distracting noises of insecurity and the flattery and the flashbulbs will flicker out like a turned-off television. (7)
5.5.15 BACK STORY
Psalm 139:16 MSG
You saw me before I was born.
The days allotted to me
had all been recorded in your book,
before any of them ever began.
Everybody's got a story and it's not the one they're telling. (Title, Ch2)
We all
have a story of what has come before in this point of time. Some of the chapters we revisit in our photo
albums, memories of relationships and family that make us smile. Other chapters we hope to never ‘re-read’
because they are painful to revisit. But
it is these painful chapters that sometimes provide the backstory for our
relationships; the story we don’t want to share with the rest of the world
because it makes us vulnerable. Who are
we fooling? The one relationship that
REALLY matters already knows that story.
God is just waiting for us to tell others the ‘rest of the story’ so we
can truly develop the kind of relationships with others that we can have with
God. Luke and the PYGs came back from their Hollywood Mission trip last year with the theme of 'story' in their hearts. The trip emphasized that everyone has multiple stories, stories that layer their lives into multiple layers. We often only see one story on the surface, yet it is the backstory or other story that frame their experience. To establish relationships that truly matter we need to read the 'other stories'; we need to share our own 'back' stories.
Luke 12:2 MSG
You can't keep your true self hidden forever; before long you'll be exposed. You can't hide behind a religious mask forever; sooner or later the mask will slip and your true face will be known.
"Most of us wear our jobs like a costume....Bill said he wished we lived in a world where people couldn't say what they did at all. He said the world would be a healthier place if nobody were allowed to wear a costume." (p.33,35) How often is "What do you do?" one of the first questions we ask when we meet someone new? And once answered, we instantly form an impression of the person based on their employment - whether positive or negative. I recently sent out an email asking our new church members to write up a brief bio of themselves for the newsletter. Naturally, I included their job as one of the questions. I almost wish I hadn't.
How many of us know that the Apostle Paul was a tent-maker? He earned his living sewing and repairing tents. Yet, that is not what most people know of Paul. He preached for the Gospel, he started churches, he sacrificed and was imprisoned. He was a writer. But none of that was his JOB. What if all we know of Paul was defined by his job? Paul didn't hide behind that job. We shouldn't either.
Masquerades don't allow real relationships to build. When we try to hide from God we are really hiding from ourselves and the truth within us. It doesn't work. God sees through the costume, through the mask. And then patiently holds the mirror and waits for us to see through ourselves as well.
5.8.15 Lessons from a Pool of Water
John 5:6 MSG
When Jesus saw him
stretched out by the pool and knew how long he had been there, he said, ‘Do you
want to get well?’
Donald Miller spent a period of time at a beautiful cabin in North
Carolina set on the edge of a pond. He came to learn three things about
healthy relationships while reflecting on his life at that pond:
1. To Be Intimate I'd Have to Jump
2. Swimming a Little Is Swimming Enough
3. There Are More Lifeguards Than Sharks
1. To Be Intimate I'd Have to Jump
2. Swimming a Little Is Swimming Enough
3. There Are More Lifeguards Than Sharks
You can’t risk love
without jumping into a relationship. Yet
we fear change, even change for the better.
We aren’t willing to take the risk. “In order
to experience a meaningful life, I’d have to face the fear of jumping in – not just
in relationships, but in life, in career, in rest, and in play.” (p42)
The
third lesson can be generalized into ‘most people aren’t out to get us’. We will get burned occasionally, but overall
an attitude of trust brings out the best in us and in others. It is worth the reward.
It is the middle lesson, centered on
imperfections and flaws, that caught my eye mostly. We have a tendency to relate the quality of a
relationship with our ability to be perfect all the time – the quality of our
exercise program with the amount of sweat we achieve. Yet we all know that a regular amount of
exercise on a steady basis does the trick – you don’t have to kill yourself daily
to get results. In the same way, Miller
writes, we make love conditional upon our perfection. But it doesn’t work that way. Miller continues….”our flaws are
the ways through which we receive grace.
We don’t think of our flaws as the glue that binds us to the people we
love, but they are, Grace only sticks to our imperfections. Those who can’t accept their imperfections
can’t accept grace either.” (p45)
This reminds me of those who say ‘God
can’t possibly love me, I have too many flaws.’
If we think of those flaws as the contact points for little sticky notes
of grace, the image that comes to mind is staggering: God reaching out in his intimate ultimate
love to our grace ridden body. If we can’t
accept that we aren’t perfect, we struggle to accept God’s loving grace. We are sitting at the Bethesda pool of healing with Jesus/God's arm stretched out to us and turning away from the words, 'Do you want to be healed?' Wow.
5.26.15 We Only Matter If....
1
Corinthians 12:20 MSG
No matter how significant you are, it is only
because of what you are a part of.
Somewhere along the line I think many of us buy
into a lie that we only matter if….We only matter if we are strong or smart or
attractive or whatever. (p56)
We put
such qualifiers on our relationships! If
I do this, be this, look this – so and so will like me. If I go to church on Sunday, God will like
me. People like us for who we are deep
inside, not some insignificant appendage!
God loves us – NO MATTER WHAT! No
matter the sin, no matter the rejection, smart or struggling, God loves
us! The rest is all a lie, a burying of
a truth we need to remember every day.
Be ourselves….be who God created us to be. When we try to gain acceptance and love by
being something we are not, eventually the lie unravels and we are left with
nothing.
Paul
writes in Corinthians of the body of Christ and the significance of each
part. He is warning against
self-importance, yet the same principal holds true if we think we only matter
if we are the brains of the outfit, the beautiful front, etc. Every part is important, every part
matters….just as God created it.
5.27.15 Attraction
Is Not Equal to Connection
1 John 4:8 MSG
The
person who refuses to love doesn’t know the first thing about God, because God is love—so you can’t know him if you don’t love.
What attracts us doesn’t
always connect us….It’s one thing to impress people, but it’s another to love
them. …. The reality is people are
impressed with all kinds of things: intelligence, power, money, charm, talent,
and so on. But the ones we tend to stay
in love with are, in the long run, the ones who do a decent job loving us back.
(p65-67)
How does this relate to my relationship with
God? Simple. God isn’t impressed by HOW we are, with WHAT
we do or say, by our status. God does a ‘decent
job’ of loving us back, unconditionally.
That is the foundation of a lasting love connection. How can we maintain that connection? By loving others in the same unconditional
manner.
5.28.15 Givers and Takers
Luke 10:5-6 MSG
“When you enter a home, greet the
family, ‘Peace.’ If your greeting is received, then it’s a good place to stay.
But if it’s not received, take it back and get out. Don’t impose yourself.
I’ve learned there are givers and takers in this
life. I’ve slowly let the takers go and
I’ve had it for the better….God bless them, when they learn to play by the
rules they are welcomed back, but my heart is worth protecting.” (p71)
I
found a few more quotes on this subject, including the image of the hands which reminded me of Habitat's slogan about hands up. Be a giver....always lending a hand up to another.
There comes a time when you have to stop crossing oceans for people who won't jump a puddle for you.
If you allow people to make more withdrawals than deposits in your life, you will be out of balance and in the negative. Know when to close the account. (Anon)
5.31.15 Random Quotes .... & Ponderings
Romans 12:9-10 MSG
9-10 Love from the center of who you are; don’t fake it. Run for
dear life from evil; hold on for dear life to good. Be good friends who love
deeply; practice playing second fiddle.
Unless we are honest
with each other, we can’t connect. We
can’t be intimate. Only God can
penetrate a manipulative person’s heart, and even then, he sits quietly,
waiting for them to stop running their con. (p74)When two people are entirely and completely separate they are finally compatible to be one. Nobody’s self-worth lives inside of another person. Intimacy means we are independently together. (p97)
Perhaps that’s another reason true intimacy is so
frightening. It’s the one thing we all
want, and must give up control to get. (p98)
I am way behind in my postings from this book, eg. I have read much further than what I have posted. Hence, today is a little catchup. I wanted to remember Miller's quotes here, but I especially like The Message translation from Romans: LOVE FROM THE CENTER OF WHO YOU ARE! If God is at our center, that is where our love will come from. A good thought; a good place to be. 6.1.15 Pruning
John 15:1-3 MSG
“I am the Real Vine and my Father is the Farmer. He cuts off every branch of me that doesn’t bear grapes. And every branch that is grape-bearing he prunes back so it will bear even more. You are already pruned back by the message I have spoken."
There are pruning seasons in life and there are
growing seasons. When I look back on my
life, I can tell the greatest growth comes right after you get cut back. (p82)
Pruning is still a lesson I am working to learn. For years I was afraid to cut back on our winter azalea plant and its early growth was rather helter-skelter. Finally I took the garden clippers to it. The next spring? A glorious burst of new growth and color! Our lives are the same....When we are 'pruned' in the hard times, the job losses, the set-backs, the involuntary changes, we need to see it as an opportunity for new growth. Perhaps it will be growth in a new direction, a God-direction, that will strengthen our relationships and our connection with God.
Pruning is also taking the time to evaluate our priorities and perhaps prune away those activities that do not really fulfill us. Pruning away the takers who don't help us grow. Pruning away negative thoughts and words. Pruning simply equals new growth, but at the time, the cuts may hurt.
Pruning is also taking the time to evaluate our priorities and perhaps prune away those activities that do not really fulfill us. Pruning away the takers who don't help us grow. Pruning away negative thoughts and words. Pruning simply equals new growth, but at the time, the cuts may hurt.
1 John 4:18 ESV
There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love.
I have a pastor friend who says the root of sin is
the desire for control. I think there’s
some truth to that. And I’d add the root
of control is fear….. After all, to love
somebody is to give them the power to hurt you….Not even God controls people’s
stories and he’s the only one who actually can. (p 90-91)6.5.15 Memorable and Poetic Lines....and a HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
The next few chapters of Miller's book struck me more with random quotes here and there that I wanted to remember. The first is the one that really caught my eye to start with....
hearts born inside another. Reminds me abit of the adoption line of an adopted child grows within a mother's heart, not her tummy. Maybe our love for God grows when we allow God to be born within our heart.
It’s funny what happens to you when part of your heart gets born inside somebody else. (p89)
A safe person is somebody who speaks the truth with grace.
(113)
How else can we connect with people unless we let them know
us? (139)
How can we be loved if we are always in hiding? (140)
Each of us is unique and if we didn’t exist something in the
world would have been lost. (149)
I’m convinced that honesty is the soil intimacy grows
in.
Which is better: to have all the stuff we think will make
people love us or to have love itself? (178)
I’m starting to wonder if the whole point of life is to be
thankful for it and to live in such a way others are thankful for theirs as
well. (179)
Love is not a game any of us can win, it’s just a story we
can live and enjoy. (225)
And my very favorite.... a message of encouragement Miller wrote to a friend:
‘Your heart is writing a poem on the world and it’s being turned into a thousand songs.’ (153)
‘Your heart is writing a poem on the world and it’s being turned into a thousand songs.’ (153)
Today is Rick's 64th birthday. May I spend the day singing a thousand songs on his heart for his love and presence in my life. Maybe 64 songs will have to do for today!
This post is based on SCARY CLOSE by Donald Miller, Nelson Books, 2014. All quotes in red are from the book.
